Tidings of Joy!
The Prism Daily
Your ‘One-A-Day’ financial supplement, including trace elements of economic analysis that every healthy investor needs. Addresses a wide variety of monetary afflictions, from vacillation to impecunity. Specially formulated to go down easy! WARNING: Side effects may include elevated cognition and bouts of epiphany. If symptoms persist, unplug cable TV.
The Prism Daily: Tue, Oct 02, 2012
Today we interrupt our timely flow of ‘Prism Daily’ missives wherein we offer ‘behind the scene’ analysis of economic escapades and financial finagling (archived at our blog ) to bring you a few quick announcements, plus tidings of great joy (for our clients, especially!).
FIRST, your email address has been added to our spiffy new MailChimp.com mailing list manager. No more missing links for us! Now we can be sure to be in proper communication with everyone. If for any reason you would like to unsubscribe, you can simply click the link at the bottom of this or any future communication and expunge yourself immediately. But we’ll miss you.
SECOND, our automated investing software continues to leave vapor trails down Wall Street with returns that would leave most investors salivating. Frankly, returns like these are not supposed to be possible, however like the bumble bee that aeronautical engineers inform us should not be able to fly (insufficient lift to weight ratio), we continue to do our best to thwart reality.
Accordingly, we’re happy to announce that we just completed the month of September with a nice upwards climb in all client platforms. For September’s results (in Adobe / PDF format) plus performance reports covering July and August 2012 click the corresponding link: July | August | September
TIP: Be sure to pass these along to your 401k managers and financial planners in case they need a little octane in their tanks.
On August 10, 2012 we set out on a great mathematical adventure. Magellan never tried anything braver. We wanted to see if we could tune our software low enough to return just 1% a year (without actually shutting it off) and thereby emulate a bank CD (sorry, not FDIC insured and no toaster).
Click here to see the exciting results for yourself.
As you can plainly see, in spite of our best efforts this experiment in drastically diminished profitability has thus far been a complete and utter failure. At the moment we’re averaging .09% per month which when multiplied by 12 gives us a projected 1.08% per year. We’re off by 8/100ths of 1%! A miss that wide could have landed Apollo astronauts in a Nevada sound studio!
It’s sloppy work at best and the culprit (Gordon) has been sent to the woodshed to re-calibrate his slide rule. To those of you who were banking on a 1% annual return for your retirement salvation (secularly speaking) , we know that news like this doesn’t come easy.
But don’t give up on us yet. We can do worse, we’re confident of it! We promise to try even harder in the future to lower our performance even further to conform with banking industry expectations. Your prayers will help (apparently the pins in Gordon’s Bernanke doll haven’t been enough).
We’re pleased to announce the creation of an entirely new division of Prism Solutions. We call it WealthMatics, the division that will conduct educational webinars, seminars, retreats and lavish vacation getaways. As the months go by we will be announcing online sessions to teach everything under the financial sun from where to buy and store precious metals (and in which forms), to how to eliminate debt quickly through scientific redirection of existing cash flow, to how to retire 30 years early while you’re young enough to enjoy it (and can still remember what you did).
Finally, we’ll be out soon with our next issue of the PRISM LETTER with more informative articles and insights to help flagging investors navigate these perilous times. We’ll be back again tomorrow with another timely Prism Daily. Until then,
May All Your Investments Be Profitable…
David Taylor and Gordon Philips, Directors
Prism Solutions, LLC
‘Better Investing Through Science’
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